Matt Marshall

November 2019

Happiness.

Happiness is the smell of the trees and the iron before the light comes, with sore grip and aching legs. It's the strain of sinew burning fiercer than the sun.

Happiness is the quiet. It's the absence of bass music, the lack of weed smoke, and the assurance it's staying that way.

Happiness is the tea with friends, knowing you can afford it, and enjoying their company. It's also the feeling of the blankets as you read into the night.

Somehow, I've found myself being happy… and I'm not sure what happens next. It's nice though.

happy

I'm sure this has been said a million times but is anyone else concerned that Jeff Bezos looks a lot like Lex Luthor from comic books and has enough money to set up supervillain lairs?

capitalism amazon

I wear an oversized hoodie around the house in the evenings. It's thick enough to feel cosy and large enough to trap air between my body and the rest of the air in the room. This means it feels cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

There's a moment when I slip it on and I feel the fabric on my skin (for why would I sully the hoodie by wearing a layer underneath? It is the cosy hoodie) and I raise the hood. The hood temporarily blocks my peripheral vision until I adjust it. I can feel the hood against my scalp. I smell the hoodie; it only smells of home. Of tea and the spices of last night's meal. I hear that weird woosh of fabric moving over your head and I feel the coolness of the cotton on my shoulders and chest.

I like that moment.

life home

Is there a word to describe the feeling you get when someone buys you an enormous box of tea but it's a brand you don't like and you're incredibly grateful because it's such a lovely gesture but then you try to make a cup of tea and try your best to like it but it tastes manky but then you feel guilty for feeling that way and then you feel bad for being so choosy about tea but tea's important to you and now you have around 250 manky brews to look forward to but you love the person who brought you the tea and don't want to not drink them and you wish you were less choosy and really the person was just trying to help and it's been one of the nicest gestures someone's made for you in a long time and then you're overwhelmed with gratitude and then you take another sip of tea but it tastes manky and then it starts over again.

Is there a word for that?

tea gratitude

Continuing on the theme of dark mode everywhere, I have installed a Dark Reader for Firefox and learned two things:

  • You get used to it scarily quickly. The CSS is really nice, and most websites are compatible. It feels really natural.
  • Brimstone's CSS is so simple it looks really good in Dark Mode. That's kinda neat.

brimstone life health web dark mode eyesight

Me at 16: Uses dark mode on everything because am an edgy boi
Me at 19: Doesn't use dark mode because slightly less edgy
Me at 28: Dark mode on everything because I'm old and my eyes hurt

life age edgy dark mode